Insights- Radical Candor – Notes from the book.

29th March 2024

Radical Candor by Kim Scott outlines “How to get what you want by saying what you mean”.

Radical Candor is not taking the opportunity for obnoxiousness or aggressive behaviour in the workplace with out any implications.

What Radical Candor should be about

Empathy focuses on the moment which makes it harder to see the long term impact.
Compassion is empathy plus action.
Compassionate candor engages the heart – care personally, and the mind – challenge directly.
Radical candor puts building good relationships at the centre of a bosses job

Put the phones down and look people in the eye

Diversity and inclusion- radical candor can be accepted differently depending on race, gender etc

Lack of guidance and honest feedback leads to dysfunctional team , poor results and low morale

Who are the different people in our teams:

Rock stars- people achieving exceptional results but wanting gradual growth trajectory.

Love their work
Found their groove
Don’t want next job if it will take away from their craft
Solid as a rock

Super stars– those on a steeper growth trajectory.

Steve Jobs at Apple – we hire people to tell us what to do.

A bosses job had more to do with listening and seeking to understand than telling people what to do, debating than directing, pushing people to decide than being the decider, persuading than giving orders, learning than knowing.

Feedback should be done in a way that does not call into question your confidence in their abilities, but leaves not too much room for interpretation.

How you communicate feedback will depend on the relationship you have built with each person- and you have to hire people who can adapt to your style.

Relationships cannot scale but culture does.

Build Radically Candid Relationships

Caring about you team and sharing their ups and downs is called management and it’s your job.

Leadership and management are like forehand and backhand – you need to be good at both to win.

What do bosses do

Bosses guide a team to acheive results. Guidance = feedback People dread feedback – both receiving and giving
Team building =right people in right roles – Keep them motivated = results
Establishing trusting relationships – you can’t know everyone but you can build relationships with those that report directly to you

You strengthen relationships by learning the best way to give and get guidance, by putting people in the right roles and by achieving results collectively. When you fail to do these you erode trust.

Dimension 1. Be more than just professional

It’s about giving a damn, sharing more than just your work self, encouraging others to do the same. Care personally about others in team.

Bring your whole self to work

Acknowledging we are all people with lives and aspirations outside our jobs. Real conversations. Knowing each other at a human level. What’s important to people and what gets you out of bed each day.

Dimension2 – telling people when their work isn’t good enough. And when it is. Delivering hard feedback, making hard calls and holding a high bar for results. Challenge directly.

Shows you care enough to point out when things are going wrong

You are willing to admit when you are wrong And committed to fixing them

Embraces conflict rather than avoiding it

Jerry Maguire- ” see that’s the difference between me and you. You think we’re fighting, I think we’re finally talkin!

When people trust you people are more likely to

Accept and act on praise and criticism
Tell you what they really think about what you are doing well or not
Engage in the same behaviour with others
Embrace their role on the team
Focus on getting results

Being direct when challenging each other means communicating clearly enough so there’s no room for interpretation but also be humble- your offering your view ( without knowing you are definitely right.

What it isn’t

A chance to be harsh or nasty
An invitation to nitpick

A good rule of thumb for any relationship is to leave three unimportant things unsaid each day.

Sensitive to context- measured by the listeners ear, not the speakers mouth

Works only if the other person understands that your effort at caring personally ad challenging directly are delivered in good faith.

2 Get, give and encourage guidance

It’s not mean it’s clear

Praise- be specific

Criticism – point out what could be done better, especially when you have won the game

How we sometimes go wrong

Obnoxious aggression- share what you think without first showing you care

Criticism- front stabbing – being nasty in front of others. We need to remember the issue we have is a behaviour, not a personality trait
Praise- belittling compliments

Manipulative insincerity- focus on being liked of don’t care enough to challenge directly

Praise- the insincere apology-

Ruinous Empathy- being nice is prioritised over critiquing

Praise- just trying to say something nice

Start by asking for criticism – not giving it.

Show you are aware you can be wrong and want to be challenged
You’ll learn a lot
The more you understand how it feels to receive feedback- the better you’ll know how to give it out
Builds trust

Don’t disagree with feedback/ listen and reward the candor.

Balance Priase and Criticism- Ratio should be at least 3-1

Guides people in the right direction
Encourages people to keep improving

Understand difference between obnoxious aggression and radical candor – it can be a fine line

Distinction between when their work is not good enough and the person is not good enough

Be humble, helpful. Offer guidance in person and immediately. Praise in public, criticise in private. And don’t personalise. Share stories

Understand what motivates each person on you team

Make sure everyone is moving in the direction they want to be moving in.

Know what growth trajectory they want to be on
Need a mix of stability and growth
Consider results and intangible things like teamwork
Ambition can change at different times in life (as will performance)
Not your job to force others to share your passion or mindset. But rather support theirs

What does each person need from you

Be a partner- not absentee manager (they don’t need me) or a micromanager.

Gradual improvers want you to recognise and reward but not promote.

Fair performance ratings
Recognition – make them the go to or gurus
Encourage teaching others- if they want it
Respect

Superstars/ fast trajectory

Keep them challenged
Figure out who’ll replace them if they move on
Don’t hold them back
Understand they don’t all want to manage

Managing the middle

People doing ok – should challenge them to a project in which they can excel

if still not performing move them on

Poor performance

Part ways

Low performance / fast trajectory

wrong role
Too much too fast
Personal issues
Poor fit

Drive results collaboratively

Telling people what to do doesn’t work

Get stuff done wheel

Listen – give the quiet ones a voice. Quiet listening vs loud listening (give strong point of view and require response.) create a culture of listening.
Clarify- selection, elimination and emphasis provides real meaning. Be clear in your own mind. Sharpen ideas before a brutal debate. Be clear to others.
Debate- like a rock tumbler- ie forms polished ideas – keep conversation focused on ideas not egos, create an obligation to dissent, pause for emotion/ exhaustion, use humour and have fun. Be clear on when the debate will end. Don’t decide just to end the debate.
Decide- base on facts not ego, get facts not recommendations, get details, go straight to source,
Persuade- convince those who are going to execute, emotion- consider listeners, credibility- demonstrates expertise and humility, logic= show your work. To show any flaws and if none people are more likely to accept.
Execute- be involved to save your teams time, toggle between leading and executing, Block time to execute.
Learn.- admit when you make mistakes, don’t feel pressure to remain consistent, communication is key.
Repeat

Tools and techniques

Relationships

Stay centered:

You can’t give a damn about others if you don’t give a damn about yourself
Work life integration –
Figure out your own recipes –
Block time for yourself in calendar
Stick to them and don’t let others override

Free at work:

relinquish unilateral authority
Authority derives from merit- not the other way around

Socialising at work:

relaxed setting without deadlines
Even non mandatory events can feel mandatory

Respect boundaries:

Building trust – each person will be different – don’t force it
Sharing values- some may not want to share
Demonstrating openness- respect others differences
Physical space – ok to hug if comfortable and welcome
Recognising your emotions- own up to it , try not to impact others or stay away if you are having a bad day
Master your reactions to others emotions- acknowledge emotions and ask questions, don’t add your guilt or tell others how to feel, leave to get tissues if you need a break, walk don’t sit, have water available.

Guidance:

Ideas for getting, giving, encouraging praise and criticism

Soliciting impromptu guidance– embrace the discomfort

criticising yourself or receiving it in public is ok ( but you should never criticise any one else in public)
Have a go to question Eg what could I do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me
Embrace the discomfort- ask a second time for feedback
Listen with the intent to understand not respond-
Reward criticism to ensure we get more of it-
Gauge the guidance you get – keep a tally
Make it safe / natural to criticise you- provide opportunity ie Q&A session or box
Management fix it weeks – focus on fixing issues

Giving Impromptu guidance

Be humble
Situation, behaviour, impact- be precise – applies to praise and criticism Evaluate what you say vs what you were actually thinking
Don’t confuse subjective experience with objective reality
Be helpful
Stating your intention to help can bring down barriers
Show don’t tell – provide detail and reasoning
Finding help is better than offering it yourself
Guidance is a gift not a whip or a carrot
Give feedback immediately
Don’t need to schedule a meeting
Keep slack time in your calendar
Don’t save up guidance for 1:1 or perf reviews
Unspoken criticism explodes like a dirty bomb
Avoid black hole – tell people who worked on a job how it was received
In person if possible –
- immediate is more important than in person unless a really big deal
- modes- video call is second best, then phones avoid text or email.
- individually as well as in team meeting
- never criticise in reply all message
Praise in public criticise in private
Factual observation, correction etc air different from criticism
Adapt to personal preferences
Group learning- praise in public can help others learn
Don’t personalise-
- the fundamental attribution error Will harm effectiveness.- referring to trait not behaviour
- say that’s wrong not your wrong
- don’t take it personally- doesn’t work
How to not make it personal – even though it is –
Gauge guidance – get a baseline, track improvements

Ask team for feedback on your feedback

Performance Reviews

No surprises- no one should be shocked as you have provided feedback along the way.
Don’t rely on your unilateral judgement + ask other team members for feedback on others
Solicit feedback about yourself first
Write it down
Make a decision about whether to provide discussion questions before hand
Leave enough time and don’t do back to back
Spend half looking forward and half reviewing back
Schedule regular checking to see how job is working
Talk about compensation after review

Prevent backstabbing

try to get those with issues to talk themselves – no triangles

Peer guidance + share mistakes amongst team

Share radical candor with your team

Speaking truth to power

Elicit feedback from team about their direct report
Explain it, show it, explain it again
Goal is to help them become better bosses
Make people on team feel comfortable giving them feedback directly
Feedback will be shared but not who it is from
Take notes and show so they can confirm
Kick start the conversation
Prioritise issues
Share notes right after meeting
Follow to ensure changes are implemente

Team

Avoiding boredom or burnout

Career conversations (3 conversations)

Life story – starting with kindergarten tell me about your life – focus on changes made and why they were important
Dreams- ask about this instead of goals, career aspirations or plans
- Make work more satisfying and meaningful and doesn’t force people into direction of promotion if not truly what they want.
Eighteen month plan.
- what do I need to learn and improve to move myself in the direction of that dream
- how should I prioritise the things I need to” learn
- whom can I learn from?
- how can I change my role to learn it

Growth Management

Figure out who needs what type of opportunities and how do we get them for them
Identify your rockstars and superstars
Identify those doing good but not exceptional work
Then those performing poorly but you see could improve
Then those not doing good work but not getting any better
3-5 point growth plan for each

Compare others grading to yours- are you too harsh or too easy

Hiring- your mentality and your process

Define team fit as vigorously as you define skills
Blind skills assessment can minimise bias
Keep hiring team consistent but try to add diversity
Casual interviews show more about team fit than formal ones
Jot down thoughts straight away
In person debrief decision- don’t hire unless your dying to make a decision

Firing

Don’t wait too long
Don’t make the decision unilaterally
Give a damn
Follow up

Promotions

Be fair – get others involved in the promotion process
Prepare
Manage time carefully
Acknowledge how hard conversations are

Reward your rockstars

Avoid promotion obsession – praise the things you want repeated – not not promotion
Say Thankyou – sometimes in private, sometimes in public, sometimes both
Gurus- put them in charge of teaching others, acknowledge them as experts
Public presentations- let people share what they do in front of others

Avoid absentee management or micromanagement

Absentee- hands off, ears off, mouth off, lacks curiosity (doesn’t want to know), doesn’t listen, afraid of details, sets no goals, no idea what is going on, unaware of context.

Micromanger- hands on, ears off, mouth on, lacks curiosity (pretends to know all), doesn’t listen- tells how, lost in details, sets arbitrary goals, pretends to know when they dont, hoards information, tells people how to solve problems without fully understanding the issue.

Meetings

1:1 conversations – your must do meetings –

Mind set – think of it less like a meeting and more like getting to know people.

Frequency – depends on numbers- include career conversations and perf reviews

Show Up – don’t cancel

Let them chose the agenda

Follow up question – why, how can I help you, what can I do to make things easier, what wakes you up at night

Encourage new ideas

Signs that you are failing – cancellations, updates only, good mews only, no criticism, no agenda.

Staff meetings –

Review key metrics,-

Listen and share key updates,

Clarify key decisions and updates.

Think time – block out time and hold that sacred

Big Debate meetings –

Only debate – not decisions
Lowers tension as not there to make a decision
Slow down decisions when appropriate
Foster a culture of debate

Big decision meetings –

Check egos at the door
Notes taken and shared
Abide by decisions made
No more debating, just decisions

All Hands meeting

For larger orgs to bring people onboard with the decisions made
Present the facts of the decisions
Q&A and explain

Execution time

Walk around –

Notice things you don’t when you are stuck at your desk

Help you find the Devil In the detail

Gives opportunity to jump in and help

Be conscious of culture

People are listening – you are under the microscope
Clarify – explain what you are communicating
Debate and decide explicitly, rather than let things just happen.
Persuade- pay attention to the small things
Execute- action should reflect your culture
Unlisten and learn

Getting started

Share your stories
Prove you can take it before you start dishing it out- ask your team to criticise you
Began career conversations with your team
Perfect your 1:1 conversations
Make notes and track your improvement
Encourage guidance- prevent back stabbing
Fight meeting proliferation
Plan for future of team
Return to guidance – get them to share feedback with each other
Walk around
Take radically candid approach to processes

Storytelling

Share a story how someone being radically candid with you helped
Share an example of where you tried to share feedback but the other person found you obnoxiously aggressive.
When did you suffer from ruinous empathy- ie fail to give feedback and that person suffered as a result.
Share your manipulative sincerity story- you failed to tell someone directly about a problem but told others
Feedback triangle role play
Have a go to question Eg
- in the last week would you have preferred me to be more or less involved in your work
- what’s something o could have done differently to make your life easier
- what’s a blind spot of mine that you have noticed

Embrace the discomfort – count to 6 don’t let them off the hook

Listen with the intent to understand – not to reply-

Reward the candor – even that you disagree with

Build it into your schedule-

Praise – focus on the good stuff

Take time to understand if praise is warranted – don’t patronise
Praise in public, criticise in private

Criticism is measured by other persons ears

Pay attention to the response
If it upsets them you need to show that you care personally
It’s not mean it’s clear / to be unclear is to be unkind
The way you listen is more important than how you talk
Get them to tell you if they disagree with you
Don’t draw attention to the potential implications of non compliance until others have had a chance to disagree with them

Performance management